A healthy nervous system is a flexible nervous system. What does this mean? Well, first of all, every state of the nervous system serves a purpose and is to be appreciated and included as we journey through our day and our life. We are not meant to feel open, calm and collected ALL THE TIME. However, it is also true that it is best to make decisions and take action when we are feeling our best. Ultimately, a flexible nervous system is one that moves through the full spectrum of states available and doesn’t get stuck or doesn’t remain bouncing within a narrow window of possibility.
To be human is to feel, to emote, to experience a complex mixture of desires, hopes, sorrows, and many other emotions simultaneously. And sometimes, this makes it really difficult to see through what’s here now and remember the bigger picture. At times it may feel like your vision and body has narrowed, tightened up, and can only fixate on one thought, story, injustice, pain, or moment in time. Other times we might feel distracted or discombobulated, unsure what we are really feeling and what we need, yet very clearly unable to focus or take action from a present and future-thinking stance.
While all of these, and many more, states are normal and to be appreciated, felt, and listened to, surely you would also like to have a practice to help yourself out and get back into the flexibility and flow that is your birthright. Just because we practice compassion, include and allow what is here now, does not mean that we would like to stay in what feels like suffering and is impeding our relationships.
If you are a follower of my blog or have experienced a workshop or coaching session with me, you may be familiar with the acronym I use to help slow down and dive deeper into what’s here now to garner some wisdom and access calm. This post is going to explore that a little more, and I will add in more detailed interventions to use before stepping into the practice depending on what state you find yourself in.
BRITA
BRITA is an acronym to be practiced step by step as a tool to access more safety signals and shine the light of your loving attention on your body and its sensations. I like to bring in the reminder before we begin that there is no expectation for deep insight or profound wisdom at the end of the experience. While that is a possibility, take note that this is simply a practice of interoception - feeling your internal experience. And research has shown that building our interoceptive capacity improves our emotional intelligence, increases our stress resiliency and self awareness, and decreases the chance of age related cognitive decline. So this practice has a lot of value and benefit to your overall well being and quality of life.
The cascade of reactions that happen in each moment occur quickly, and it can be hard to understand how to pause, and equally challenging to know what to do in that pause. If we are to step off the path of habitual reaction and create space for a new story, a new choice, and a new habit, we need to slow down so we can re-appraise, reframe, and restore.
Rather than simply trying to cognitively repeat new thoughts or tell yourself what you need to hear or just rely on acting your way into a new way of thinking, we can interrupt this cycle at the level of sensation to create space for a new story and the possibility for healing.
When we turn inwards and towards what we are feeling, bring awareness to sensation and notice what happens in our perceptual ideation of it - rather than simply react - we increase SIMs (safety in my system) and decrease DIMs (danger in my system). By practicing the step by step BRITA process, we have a tangible pathway to shifting our nervous system state and ultimately changing the way we see, feel, think, and act.
BRITA is a guided interoceptive practice to cultivate space to breathe around sensations and emotions by generating loving "with-ness" to calm, validate, respond and reappraise.
"The core emotional experiences of the past that have an impact on our current experience are by their nature uncomfortable. Our automatic impulse is to push them out of our awareness so that we can get on with our life. This is called suppression and is achieved through sedation and control. This is akin to a jar full of water, as your authentic self, the awareness of our authentic true present nature. And the oil in the jar is the uncomfortable emotional, physical and mental experiences. Shaking the jar endlessly in an attempt to change our experience just mixes the water and oil so we can’t see where they separate. All our endless doing and thinking results in a murky mixture. Reactivity is shaking the jar. Response is allowing the jar to come to stillness, so we can slowly scoop out the oil. Put the jar down, watch it, and allow the oil to come to the surface" - Michael Brown
Let’s walk through the steps of BRITA together, and then I will offer some examples of various states you might find yourself in that would be great times to engage in BRITA, including the slight change in breath intervention that would serve specific states.
B - Breath
R - Recognize
I - Include and Identify
T - Track It
A - Address It
B - BREATHE: Easier said than done, right? Put a pin in this step as you walk through the remaining steps. We are going to circle back to this one and I will offer some detailed interventions depending on what you are noticing in your state and breath.
R - RECOGNIZE with loving presence: Turn towards and acknowledge the state you are in or experience you are having. This creates space for relationality as you notice, name and witness what arises, rather than being blended or taken over by it. Toggle back to full attention on your breath any time you feel a narrowing or lose connection to a spacious breath. When possible or ready to do so, go deeper and meet the raw sensation beneath the emotion of protection to interrupt the cycle of limiting beliefs.
I - INCLUDE & IDENTIFY with curiosity and compassion: What sensations are readily available to be felt? Where in your body and/or mind do you notice the sensation(s)/activation? With as much descriptive detail as possible, how would you label and describe what you are feeling? How does it broadcast from your body? Does it have a shape? Is it clear, fuzzy, empty, deep or heavy? Is there an ache, a numbness, or stuck-ness? Is it dull, sharp, mild, intense, squeezing in, collapsing in, pushing out, dense, subtle or loud? Notice and then notice more.
T - TRACK IT with mindful observance and non-attachment: Be with and feel the sensations unconditionally. Witness change with calm abiding. Observe without judgement as the sensations arise, move, shift, pulse, tingle, grow, transform, open, close and travel through your body. Can you sustain curiosity, awe, wonder and love as you create space around whatever it is you are feeling? Just witness the natural flow without an agenda, without manipulating it or trying to fix it. Send your breath to any areas of your body that need support. Allow these sensations to transform back into their true nature; energy in motion.
A - ADDRESS IT with self-compassion & Discharge Excess Energy: Turn towards what you feel and hold loving space for the wisdom that surfaces when the activated part(s) within you feel safe, seen and heard. Whatever arises is doing so to protect you in whatever way has worked in the past. Remain in a state of open arms to self-soothe, embrace, allow, accept, deeply listen, while simultaneously transmuting what you feel through your heart-centered awareness and gentle reassurance with conscious communication. Check in with your basic needs (i.e. are you hungry, activated, lonely, tired?) and make an action plan once you feel calm and connected to the space beyond your struggle or "problem." Let your body shake and move, or actively get moving to support your body in releasing the surge of energy that may have built up in this activation.
Self Compassion shifts our nervous system from the reptilian threat defense system to the mammalian caregiving system. This releases oxytocin and opiates that activates the parasympathetic nervous system and lowers cortisol, calming us down. You can also try various forms of Bilateral Stimulation (physically with movement or emotionally and mentally by holding/including opposite emotions.)
"The goal of the practice is not perfection, it's to be a compassionate mess." - Kristin Neff
BREATH interventions
Let’s imagine a scenario, (perhaps you can even recall a time recently that you experienced something similar), when you felt lethargic, weighed down, collapsed, or even numb/dissociated from your body and the present moment. In order to access Box Breath, and then a calm and smooth breath to dive down to be with sensations, we first need to get some energy flowing.
Breath Technique to Upregulate before BRITA
Now, let’s imagine a scenario where you are feeling anxious, frustrated or enraged, and perhaps you can recall a time recently when you felt something like this. In these moments, we need to calm our system down a bit to create space for box breath. A friend recently described her attempts at box breath when in this activated state as feeling like the box was tiny and wouldn’t open up. So, here is a breath technique to downregulate before box breath and BRITA.
You will also find that there are times when you are feeling just slightly activated or just a little bit drowsy, but it’s not extreme. Most likely you will be able to move right into Box Breath and receive what you need to begin your journey through BRITA. The point is, it’s good to have a couple of other options and interventions so that when one doesn’t seem to work, you have another tool to pull out and try.
I hope this post offered some ideas and inspiration to feed your curiosity and your courage to slow down and move in to meet what is happening inside and beneath the surface of your experience. BRITA truly is a filter than can foster relationship saving and sustainable change. I would love to hear how it goes for you.
xox
Marin