Mind-Mapping

One of my favorite tools for clearing my mind, letting go of negativity, finding inspiration and direction, and getting creative, is Mind-Mapping. This can look so many different ways, but basically what you want to do is start with One Word, or One Question, or One Idea, and write that on the center of your page (or top left and follow the arrows to cover the entire page). From there, surround that word with feelings, actions, ideas, and goals. From there, it may lead you to another Question, or the desire to dig in deeper with one of the words you have written down. Allow yourself to follow the trail, writing down as many words and actions as you go along, until it feels complete. 

Once your mind-map is complete, choose three tangible actions to complete that same day, that embodies the Intention you set for yourself. Once you are clear on what you want for that day, you will see one opportunity after another to further your growth, improve your skills, and progress towards your goals in life. 

Not only is this a fun and interactive way to work through indecisiveness or to gain clarity or intention, it looks neat written down and you may surprise yourself with what you come up with.  

This Mind-Map is the intention I set for myself today....

Here is a basic skeleton of how you could make a similar Mind-Map...

And here is an example of one based on asking yourself Questions, and allowing those questions to evolve and get to the root of desires, values, fears, and Actions (starting at the top left corner)....

Try it out and see where it takes you. Practice makes Perfect Practice, you have to start somewhere. Go get 'em! xoxox

To believe or not believe....

Our thoughts create our reality. How we choose to perceive ourselves, our surroundings, our challenges and obstacles, are all framed with the words we choose. Our bodies react with hormones getting ready for pleasure, pain, sadness, joy, effort, relaxation, surrender, escape,  etc. So if you tell yourself you are not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, cool enough, not pretty enough, etc., your body believes it and reacts accordingly. 

"Our belief system affect our actions, goals, and perception. Individuals who come to believe they can effect change are more likely to accomplish what they set out to do. Bandura calls that conviction "self-efficacy." People with self-efficacy set their sights higher, try harder, persevere longer, and show more resilience in the face of failure." -- Tom & David Kelley, Creative Conifdence

If you are not happy with the results you are getting in your life, it's time to dig in and become aware of the Beliefs you have that are holding you back. What do you tell yourself when the going gets tough? What does your self-dialogue tell you when you hit a bump in the road of life? What do you believe about your abilities? What do you believe you are capable of?

Choose to believe the thoughts that give you energy, that connect you to empowering people around you. Choose to believe you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, and that you are capable of handling absolutely anything that life throws at you. Choose to believe that being uncomfortable is not something to avoid, but rather where Growth and Learning reside. Choose to believe that you can achieve any goal that you set and put effort towards, while realizing that you gain so much more along the journey versus just at the destination. What we focus on expands and gains power with each breath. We have the power to build ourselves into intentional and positive people, or to slowly break ourselves down, diminishing our own power by telling ourselves we are not capable of change. 

Where your mind goes, energy flows....so choose your thoughts wisely.

Complimentary Contradictions

For most of my life I have attached meaning and value to the results I get. I would set big goals, work hard (or sometimes not hard), and would find motivation by picturing that sweet reward of achieving the outcome I desired. I wanted that MVP, I wanted that scholarship, I desired that 6-pack, I drooled over the idea of getting that boyfriend, or winning first place in that competition. Sound familiar? 

What soon became clear was that achieving that "badge of honor" was a short lived satisfying feeling, followed too soon by depression or feeling of lack. I was constantly looking for things to make me feel better. "Once I get 'x' I will be happy" or "Once 'person X' acknowledges me for this, I will feel complete." Unfortunately, it doesn't work out that way. 

In The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt says,

"In the long run, it doesn't much matter what happens to you. Good fortune or bad, you will always return to your happiness set point - your brain's default level of happiness - which was determined largely by your genes."

What this means is, there are no outside rewards that will change your level of happiness long-term. Whether you win the lottery, get that dream job, earn that scholarship, or get that 6-pack, your inner happiness will not stay elevated. In fact, it drops quite quickly and suddenly we are left with everything we thought we wanted, yet that feeling of "lack" or "incompleteness" remains. 

So what do we do? How do we elevate our happiness and find pure joy and fulfillment in life without letting go of effort or goals all together??

Haidt goes on to say,

"The level of happiness that you actually experience (H) is determined by your biological set point (S) plus the conditions of your life (i.e., loving relationships, as well as having and pursuing the right goals, in order to create states of flow and engagement) (C), plus the voluntary activities (V) that you do. 

H = S + C + V"

I propose to take that a step further and add another point to that equation; Detachment (D)

H = S + C + V + D

What does this mean? Basically, to find happiness in each moment, regardless of outcome, we must live with intention (i.e., effort, goals, actions, growth mindset, etc) without bestowing all of the power into the results you get. Quite the complimentary contradiction. 

In the Yoga Sutra's by Patanjali, this balance or dance in life is referred to as Vairagya and Abhyasa. Abhyasa means: to practice, to desire, to color, to put forth effort; while Vairagya means: to let go, to bleach or make pale, to surrender, to detach from the outcome. 

As is the case for most things in life, too much of anything is not good for you. Too much effort and desire without the balance of detachment and surrender, will set you up for a life of endless pursuit to fill a hole or gap that seems bottomless. Too much surrender or detachment, without goals and intention, will cause you to float through life disinterested and unable to form lasting relationships or appreciate the beauty and growth that life has to offer. 

So play big, take chances, make new connections, allow yourself to fail and learn what it means to be resilient. Strive for the life you want and know that surrendering and accepting what it is right now, without judgement or regret, is the best way to find lasting happiness. Find joy and excitement in the process, in the little things that actually make up the majority of our time on this planet. Start retraining your brain to approach everything as a learner and put effort in each day to get a little stronger, a little wiser, a little less judgmental, a little more detached, and a little more prepared for the obstacles that will arise. One moment at a time.

"What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is the creation of our mind" - Buddha

(Life) Mission Statement

Every business owner knows the importance and inspiration that lives in a Mission Statement . It is used to help guide decisions about priorities, actions, and responsibilities. It keeps the team/company on track and working towards a unified goal. It is the simplest way to have that constant reminder of how to make decisions based on the Core Values.

"Founded with a rebellious spirit and a lofty objective: to offer designer eyewear at a revolutionary price, while leading the way for socially-conscious businesses" - Warby Parker

"Celebrating Animals, Confronting Cruelty" - The Humane Society

Why not treat your life's mission with the same intentional drive as a Business? This is a way to bring your essence into focus so it is clear who you are, what you do, and why you do it. You can explain your motives and add detail or keep it simple, clear, and concise.  

"To create content that educates, informs, and inspires" -PBS

"Give our customers the best food and beverage values that they can find anywhere and to provide the with the information required to make informed buying decisions. We provide these with a dedication to the highest quality of customer satisfaction delivered with a sense of warmth, friendliness, fun, individual pride, and company spirit" - Trader Joe's

Start by writing out some key words that you strive to live by....

i.e., Create, Support, Learn, Fun, Grow, Empower, Inspire, Motivate, Drive, Adapt, Evolve, Simplify, Leader, Balance......

Draw it out on a big blank piece of paper. Connect words that embody the same meaning. Circle words that stand out to you most, add new words in as they come to you.

Then, ask yourself:

What gives you the most joy and sense of purpose? What is your goal in life? Who do you want to impact with the work you do? What do you want your legacy to be? Add this to the same piece of paper. Make connections, try out phrases.

Now, What trends do you see? What is a simple and concise statement that embodies your purpose, core values, and the legacy you want to leave behind?

"Question Assumptions. Think Deeply. Iterate as a Lifestyle. Details, Details. Design is Everywhere. Integrity" -InvisionApp (core values)

"Spreading Ideas" - TED

It may also help to try the exercise, "I am....." Choose your 3-4 core values, and turn it into....

 "I am _____, ______, and _______"

For example, when I did this exercise this morning, I came up with "I am fun, collaborative, and invested in growth."

William Arruda has created a formula for discovering and declaring your Personal Mission Statement. It looks like this...

The Value You Create + Who You're Creating It For + The Expected (Desired) Outcome

NOTE: your "VALUE" --> your core DNA, your operating principles, what inspires and energizes you.

For example, Oprah's Mission Statement,

"To be a teacher. And to be known for inspiring my students to be more than they thought they could be"

The New York Public Library,

"To inspire lifelong learning, advance knowledge, and strengthen our communities"

And, Make-a-Wish foundation,

"We grant the wishes of children with life-threatening medical conditions to enrich the human experience with hope, strength, and joy"

Your Mission Statement provides you with a path for success, and an accessible guideline that gives you permission to say NO to things that do not align with your Values and Purpose. Live with Intention and watch as your life becomes your most beautiful creation.

xoxo

Note: Life is a constant practice, and practice makes perfect practice. So revisit your core values and mission statement often. Make it look beautiful and keep it somewhere noticeable to offer inspiration when you need it most. Have fun! 

Dopamine - the magical neurotransmitter

The more I learn about dopamine, the more impressed and excited I am about this magical neurotransmitter. It truly is what makes us human and allows us the potential to be driven and happy in our day to day lives. My mission in life is to create dopamine in everything that I do, for myself, and for others. If I am not having fun, learning, sweating daily, creating, and taking chances, I will not feel that boost of dopamine that gives me the best natural high possible. 

Neurotransmitters control communication in the brain. The inability to produce dopamine naturally results in Parkinson's Disease or varying degrees of ADHD. If you have too much dopamine in your system (due to drugs, i.e. cocaine, or disorders), you will have a sense of extreme euphoria, aggression, and intense sexual feelings (too much of a good thing is no longer a good thing).

As is the case for everything in life, the pursuit of balance - between the two extremes - is what we should aim for. When dopamine is released at a healthy rate, depending on the neural pathway it takes, we feel pleasure, a call to action or motivation, increased mood stability, regulation of movement, boost in ability to sleep soundly, increased attention to detail, and increased ability to learn and remember. Doesn't that sound nice??

So how do you ensure that you are getting the most out of your body's potential to create dopamine? There are certain things you can do each day to create the conditions and environment and allow your brain to do the rest.

1. Diet 

-Eat foods rich in tyrosine (which your body needs to make dopamine). Almonds, avocados, bananas, low-fat dairy, meat and poultry, lima beans, sesame and pumpkin seeds.

-Avoid sugar as much as possible. Sugar activates the reward system and boosts your dopamine initially. But this quickly drops and then you are left with the craving for more! Get the same high you get from sugar, by eating foods rich in tyrosine or follow one of the other suggestions below.

2. Exercise

-Perhaps you have felt that euphoric feeling after a really tough and satisfying workout. That is the endorphins and dopamine pulsing through your body. Exercise increases blood calcium, which stimulates dopamine release and uptake in your brain. Exercise because it feels SO GOOD when you're done. Your body will learn to crave that feeling, which will be enough (most days) to push you past that initial "I don't know if I feel like working out" thought.

3. Sleep 

-Being rested just makes everything easier. Having dopamine in your body helps you sleep soundly, and getting a good night's sleep will allow your brain to better produce dopamine the following day. It's a beautiful cycle.

4. Set incremental goals

-Setting goals boosts dopamine, dopamine motivates us to get into action, which then gets us working on that goal we set. Achieving a goal, or reflecting on the process to see what we have learned and where we have grown, also boosts dopamine, calling us to set more goals and get into action. So set incremental goals daily to get those small-wins to work in your favour.

5. Supplements, Medications

-For some people, the natural ability to produce dopamine may need a little kick-start. If you feel like you need support, reach out to your doctor to get more details on supplements or medications to help you achieve some balance.

Try This.....

The "Dope-Web": Make a list of 3-5 of the PEOPLE, ACTIVITIES, and ENVIRONMENTS that inspire and motivate you to be your best self. When you are having one of those god-awful lack of motivation, lethargic, self-doubting, pessimistic, "I am in over my head" kind of days, choose one person to reach out to (or all of your people!), one activity, and one environment from your list and get into action. Watch as your day goes from "What the hell is wrong with me?!?" into "Well, wasn't I being silly. I got this under control."

You got this. Get into action and watch your life change for the better, one natural high at a time. xo

What do you FEAR?

My good friend Kyle (check out @capture.passion on Instagram) sent me a random text a couple days ago, all it said was "What is your biggest fear?" Kyle recently read a book about a guy that lost his best friend to death and realized that he never truly knew him, nor did he truly know any of the people he called his friends. So he decided to venture out and ask deep and personal questions to everyone he encountered (friends, strangers, family, acquaintances, whoever), and he then wrote a book about the experience. Kyle's question, sparked the inspiration in me to ask deep questions of those around me for the rest of the day, which reminded me how powerful and "real" Fear is for all of us. 

For years, I have been working on moving past my fears and not allowing them to hold me back. What I loved about getting the question posed to me a couple days ago, is that I no longer fear what once held me in its grips, the Fear of Failure. I have spent a lot of time digging in to figure out where that fear came from, what it felt like, and where it showed up in my life (everywhere!). Through conscious practice, reflection, and self-study, I am no longer held back by this fear. It still pops up its ugly head occasionally, but I have enough experience under my belt now that I have changed my perception of Failure entirely. "Failure" is not scary. To me, failure means that I have pushed past my comfort zone, put myself in a position of growth and learning, and when one door closes - a dozen other doors swing open to take me in directions I couldn't have fathomed had I not played big and put myself out in the world. 

In "Living Your Yoga" by Judith Lasater, she talks about Fear as being a sense of losing control. Fear only comes about "...when you think about what MAY happen or what COULD HAVE happened." When you are actually living in the moment, truly present to what is right in front of you, you will not experience fear. If you are actually in danger, in this present moment, your body activates the Flight or Fight response (sympathetic nervous system), which doesn't feel like fear, it feels like getting into action to get shit done! The fear that most people feel is not real, it is projected into our reality because of the thoughts we choose to hold onto. Change your thoughts, change your reality.

"The only real control I have is the choice of my own thoughts, my own words, and my own actions" - Judith Lasater

So next time you feel that Fear creeping into the equation, acknowledge it for what it is. If you can change the way you perceive "failure" or "lack of control" or wherever else that fear comes from, you can change the way you respond. Don't let your decisions be driven by fear, let your decisions be driven by inspiration, growth, improving, and following your passion.

Don't be the one that gets in your own way, be the one that pushes past your comfort zone. 

xoxo

Growth Mindset

We all carry emotional baggage with us. Whether we are reacting to things in the moment that are less than ideal, or holding onto judgements, resentments, guilt, or sadness from past events that rocked us to our core; this emotional baggage weighs us down. Where does this come from? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why is it easier to pass judgement and compare ourselves to what we are not, versus loving ourselves whole-heartedly and choosing forgiveness as our first instinct?

To unpack things that weigh you down, you must practice "letting go". Your problems, stressors, guilt, expectations, plans, regrets, self-loathing, disapointments, resentments, they attach on like baggage until you consciously choose to let them go. Allow yourself to be just in this moment, just you and your breath. Accept where you are today and what it has taken to get here. Find the joy in the simplicity of just being present to what is right in front of you, and choose in each moment to let go and open yourself up to the world of possibilities and adventure that is constantly unfolding in front of you. Let go of that baggage, and watch as you begin to fill that newly vacant space with love, breath, possibility, joy, inspiration, and resilience. 

Something that has helped me along this path of self discovery and letting go, is to focus on strengthening my Growth Mindset. A Growth Mindset (vs Fixed Mindset) takes the pressure away and the goal is always attainable. The Growth Mindset reminds us that everything is a work in progress, it is about getting better vs the need to be good now, improving vs proving, developing skills vs demonstrating skills, me vs past me instead of me vs you. This mindset allows intimacy and vulnerability in pursuing the goals that inspire you, without possession or expectation overshadowing the beauty and growth that is the Journey.

What Mindset do you choose today?

xo

And we are LIVE....

This website is now live, but, will always be a work in progress. I am excited to let this evolve into whatever the needs of my community express. At the end of the day, I want to be able to sleep knowing that I am pursuing the life I want and supporting and inspiring others along the way. That's it, that's all.

I need feedback and collaboration as I grow, so feel free to reach out to me with any questions or ideas. Each day is a blank slate, and I am excited to paint the canvas as the day unfolds.

So cheers to another beautiful day on this amazing planet. Don't hold back, play big, take chances, and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Vulnerability is the key to living by your core values and passions, so share what your dreams are and start working towards it. No one can live this life the way you can, so don't hold back your unique talents and perspective. The world needs what you have to offer.

xoxox