One of the book's that I have enjoyed reading, dissecting, and bringing up in conversation's is Nassim Taleb's, Black Swan.
A Black Swan is a highly improbable event with three principal characteristics:
1. It is unpredictable.
2. It carries a massive impact.
3. After the fact, we concoct an explanation that makes it appear less random and more predictable than it was.
"I should've known he was going to cheat on me the moment I had that feeling"
"I knew today was going to be the last time I saw her face, I felt it in my gut"
"I knew I shouldn't have trusted my friend Sally, she's so impulsive. I should've seen this coming"
What I love about this explanation of the unpredictable and life-altering events is that it reminds us that we cannot control what happens to us, we cannot control the outcome, we truly can only control our OWN EFFORT. Shit happens! Take out the guilt, the blame, the what-ifs, the "shoulds", and we are left with raw and vulnerable effort that allows us to learn from experience and edit as we go. Being mindful and embodying self-awareness does not imply perfection - far from actually. I think of mindfulness as my ability to be able to call myself out on my own bullshit or to notice habits or thoughts that are not doing me any good. When we take out the unnecessary wasted time and energy on negativity, we leave space open for growth, learning, healing, and creativity. A stressed out mind is not a suitable environment for learning or healing. So let go. Get your body moving and get yourself into action.
Here are three tips to support you in embracing the uncertainty while moving fluidly in your desired direction:
1. Set Goals! Set goals that send you in the direction of growth, excitement, passion, and discovery. Set goals that build strength and resilience by getting into action, embracing the experience for what it is, and then reflecting of how you feel and what tweaks you need to make to set yourself up for success tomorrow.
2. Know your mind! Understand your Mind and Body and how to use both to your advantage. Our mind and body needs movement to stay balanced and to have access to nutrients and chemicals that support growth and resilience to stress. Get yourself into a regular exercise regimen because your brain needs it.
3. Detach! Detach from the outcome, detach from your last exhale, detach from the stories that hold you back, detach from the beliefs that keep you small and scared, and detach from the people or environments that feel toxic. Be open to opportunities to learn and connect with new people, and remind yourself daily to be mindful as you flow through life.
Each moment is practice for the next moment. And practice makes perfect practice. Set yourself up with reminders. Repeat what you need to hear. Repetition allows you to build up the ability to have access to these tools when you need them most. Trust that there is always more to learn and always something to let go of. Now is a good time to start.
If you would like to learn more or are interested in setting up some support and accountability, reach out to me. I would love to hear from you, firstname.lastname@example.org