My good friend Kyle (check out @capture.passion on Instagram) sent me a random text a couple days ago, all it said was "What is your biggest fear?" Kyle recently read a book about a guy that lost his best friend to death and realized that he never truly knew him, nor did he truly know any of the people he called his friends. So he decided to venture out and ask deep and personal questions to everyone he encountered (friends, strangers, family, acquaintances, whoever), and he then wrote a book about the experience. Kyle's question, sparked the inspiration in me to ask deep questions of those around me for the rest of the day, which reminded me how powerful and "real" Fear is for all of us.
For years, I have been working on moving past my fears and not allowing them to hold me back. What I loved about getting the question posed to me a couple days ago, is that I no longer fear what once held me in its grips, the Fear of Failure. I have spent a lot of time digging in to figure out where that fear came from, what it felt like, and where it showed up in my life (everywhere!). Through conscious practice, reflection, and self-study, I am no longer held back by this fear. It still pops up its ugly head occasionally, but I have enough experience under my belt now that I have changed my perception of Failure entirely. "Failure" is not scary. To me, failure means that I have pushed past my comfort zone, put myself in a position of growth and learning, and when one door closes - a dozen other doors swing open to take me in directions I couldn't have fathomed had I not played big and put myself out in the world.
In "Living Your Yoga" by Judith Lasater, she talks about Fear as being a sense of losing control. Fear only comes about "...when you think about what MAY happen or what COULD HAVE happened." When you are actually living in the moment, truly present to what is right in front of you, you will not experience fear. If you are actually in danger, in this present moment, your body activates the Flight or Fight response (parasympathetic nervous system), which doesn't feel like fear, it feels like getting into action to get shit done! The fear that most people feel is not real, it is projected into our reality because of the thoughts we choose to hold onto. Change your thoughts, change your reality.
"The only real control I have is the choice of my own thoughts, my own words, and my own actions" - Judith Lasater
So next time you feel that Fear creeping into the equation, acknowledge it for what it is. If you can change the way you perceive "failure" or "lack of control" or wherever else that fear comes from, you can change the way you respond. Don't let your decisions be driven by fear, let your decisions be driven by inspiration, growth, improving, and following your passion.
Don't be the one that gets in your own way, be the one that pushes past your comfort zone.